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  • Free Christmas Tree!

    My son asked me if we could have a tree this Christmas. I told him I didn’t want to pay for a tree and that’s that. He wouldn’t stop asking though, every five minutes he wanted to know why we couldn’t have a tree. In the end I grabbed my axe and stormed out of […] More

  • Florida orange growers

    Q: Why did Florida orange growers offer O.J. Simpson $3 million? A: To change his name to Apple Juice. More

  • Blonde Crew

    A phone company put an ad in the paper in order to recruit workers. The next day, two groups of workers show up – a crew of five men and a crew of five blonde women. The company cannot decide who to give the job to, so they give the two groups a test. The […] More

  • Wrong Password

    A new blonde employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there’s something wrong with her password. No, it’s not the usual caps-lock problem. “The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars,” she says. “Those asterisks are to protect you,” the Help Desk technician explains, “so if someone were standing […] More

  • Grandma in Court

    In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’re a big disappointment to me. […] More

  • Devil in the church

    One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away. Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, “Don’t you know who I […] More

  • Disease

    A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other naked for the first time. The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, “I had tolio as a child.” The wife asks if he means polio. He says, “No, it only affects the toes.” He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees. […] More

  • Two Brazilians

    A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, “Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.” The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, “That’s horrible!!! So many men dying that way!” Confused, he says, “Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk […] More

  • The Lunatic Driver

    One morning a blonde’s husband was watching the traffic report on TV. They were talking about some maniac who was driving along the highway in the wrong direction and disrupting traffic He knew his wife would be on that highway on her way to work and he didn’t want her to get hurt, so he […] More

  • Problem on the Farm!

    A young farmhand is driving around the farm and making repairs to the fences. After a few minutes, he makes a call to his boss on the two-way radio and says, “Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of the truck. He’s still wriggling. […] More

  • The Art of Fishing

    Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.” “We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde. “Well, if your going […] More

  • Intelligent Husband!

    Wife is busy packing her clothes. Man: And where are you going? Wife: I’m moving to my mother. Husband also starts packing. Wife: And where do you think your going? Husband: I’m also moving to my mother. Wife: And what about the kids? Husband: Well if you are moving to your mother and I’m moving […] More

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