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  • Treat a cough

    The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?” The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I […] More

  • A Risk For All Seasons

    My elderly mother was rushed to the hospital following a serious tumble. There the staff placed a band around her wrist with large letters warning: Fall Risk. Unimpressed, Mom said to me, “I’ll have them know I’m a winter, spring, and summer risk too!” More

  • Barbershop

    A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. “I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.” The client […] More

  • Three businessmen

    Three businessmen were having dinner at a club. When it came time to pay the check, each grabbed for it. “It’s a business expense,” said one. “I’ll pay,” said the second. “I’m on cost plus.” “Let me have it,” argued the third. “I’m filing for bankruptcy next week.” More

  • Man of this house

    A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife, so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem and gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. The man […] More

  • Get there?

    Mike came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, “Hurry over here. My house is on fire!” “OK,” replied the fireman, “how do we get there?” “Why, don’t you still have those big red fire engines?” More

  • Anything I can do?

    A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. “That’s such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn’t there anything I can do?” pleaded the patient. “Marry a lawyer,” the doctor advised. “It will be the longest six months of your […] More

  • One thing

    A drunk staggered up to the hotel reception desk and demanded his room be changed. “But sir,” said the clerk, “you have the best room in the hotel.” “I insist on another room!!” said the drunk. “Very good, sir. I’ll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind telling me why you don’t like […] More

  • Late for Work

    Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went […] More

  • Brown from the sun?

    Two men met each other on the beach at Majorca. One looked at the other and asked, “Are you brown from the sun?” “No,” replied the other, “I’m Smith from The Times.” More

  • Send help!

    A frightened man dialed 911 to report an assault. “I was coming in the back door,” said the man to the dispatcher, “when I was struck on the forehead. Luckily, I was able to get into the house and lock the door. Please send help right away!” After advising him to stay calm, the dispatcher […] More

  • How much

    “How much for that oil painting?” asked a dealer. “Two hundred and fifty dollars,” replied the artist. Dealer replies, “I will give you twenty.” Artist snapped back, “I should have to be starving to take that!” “Ok then, I will wait,” said the dealer. More

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