joker
Latest stories
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Autumn is here
A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn’t like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, “What are you waiting for?” The husband replies, “Autumn.” More
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Slander
A woman was being questioned in a court trial involving slander. “Please repeat the slanderous statements you heard, exactly as you heard them,” instructed the lawyer. The witness hesitated. “But they are unfit for any respectable person to hear,” she protested. “Then,” said the attorney, “just whisper them to the judge.” More
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General approach
A new receptionist started work in a psychiatrist’s office, but at the end of her first day he felt he had to have a quietword with her. “Your general approach is fine,” he said, “but try saying ‘We’re very busy’ rather than ‘It’s a madhouse.’” More
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I figured..
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted-living apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything […] More
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Fishing in the Caribbean
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, “I’m here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.” “That’s quite a coincidence,” said the engineer. “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a […] More
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An Apple A Day
Jake came rushing in to see his Dad. “Dad!” he puffed, “Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?” “That’s what they say,” said his Dad. “Well, give me an apple quick! I’ve just broken the doctor’s window!” More
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Walking Economy
A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, “I’m a walking economy.” His friend replies, “How’s that?” “It’s like this, my hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression.” More
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Get to work!
A guy runs into his office, wearing only a hat and carrying a briefcase. His boss stops him and says, “What are you doing, Cliff? Do you realize you’re naked? Shouldn’t this be your day off?” Cliff calmly explains that he was on a party when suddenly the lights went out. Some voice said, “Gentleman, […] More
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With on one hand
“How are you doing?” said a young guy bumping into his friend at the bar. “I was fine…until last night.” “Why? What happened?” “My girlfriend and I were talking about how many people we had slept with.” “Oh, what did she say?” “She said she could count the number of guys she’s slept with on […] More
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Only Time I Use My Head
An elderly lady and an orthopedic surgeon were travelling in an elevator together. The doors started to shut as the lady was trying to get out of the doors. The surgeon kindly put his head in between the doors so the lady could get out. “Thank you very much,” said the lady, “but why did […] More
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Once Upon A Time
A young girl asked her father if all fairy tales begin with “Once Upon A Time?” “No,” he replied. “A whole lot of them begin with ‘If elected, I promise …’” More