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  • Sunday newspaper

    A very drunk gent checked into a hotel late one Saturday night. He awoke very ill and summoned a bellboy to fetch him a bottle of whiskey and a Sunday newspaper. The bellhop was gone a long time. When he returned, the drunk remarked, “It must be hard to buy a bottle in this town […] More

  • Watch them or the game?

    A married couple was watching volleyball game at a beach when the wife spotted a couple in the bleachers. They were being very affectionate. The girl was running her hands all over the boyfriend and nibbling on his ear. He had his hands on her chest. Looking at them, the wife said to her husband […] More

  • Seen on tv

    A young man and woman were eager to enjoy a picnic in the park one Saturday noon, and they opted to go through a fast-food drive-in for a quick snack. They ordered, paid, got their bag of goodies, and headed for the park. When they opened the bag, it was full on money instead of […] More

  • Fast chicken

    A man was driving along a rural road, one day, when he saw a three-legged chicken. He was amused enough to drive along side it for a while. As he was driving, he noticed the chicken was running 30 mph. “Pretty fast chicken,” he thought, “I wonder just how fast it can run.” So, he […] More

  • Choices…

    Fifteen days ago, I read that smoking can kill you. The next day I stopped smoking. Twelve days ago, I read that too much red meat can kill you. The next day I stopped eating red meat. Eight days ago, I read that drinking can kill you. The next day I stopped drinking. Yesterday, I […] More

  • Judgment

    A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children, so the […] More

  • Are you..?!

    A baby was born that was so advanced that he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor. “Are you my doctor?” he asked. “Yes, I am.” The baby said, “Thank you for taking such good care of me during birth.” He looked at his mother and asked, “Are you my […] More

  • 3 meals a day

    Doctor to a woman: “You look exhausted, have you been taking 3 meals a day like I told you?” Woman replies: “Oh, my… I thought you said 3 males a day.” More

  • Talking clock

    A man moves into a new flat and invites a few of his friends around for a housewarming drink. He’s got lots of lovely furniture but then one of his friends sees an old hammer hanging on the wall and says, “What’s that dirty old hammer doing there?” The man replies: “Oh, that’s not a […] More

  • Guaranteed to Work New Diet

    Want a diet that is guaranteed to work? Make a sandwich with spinach, kumquat and catfish. Drench it in jalapeño sauce and yogurt. One look at it and you’re not hungry for hours! More

  • Doctor Knows Best

    Patient: I have a problem doctor. I feel depressed and unhappy. Doctor: You should cut down on your drinking. Patient: I don’t drink and have never touched a drop in my life. Doctor: You should cut down on your smoking. Patient: I don’t smoke either doctor. Doctor: You should cut down on womanizing. Patient: Good […] More

  • A stage whisper

    A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn’t improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, “When a musician just can’t handle his instrument and doesn’t improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give […] More

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