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  • A tree full of monkeys

    An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes. More

  • Choices

    It was dinner time on a British Airways flight from London to New York. As the flight attendant moved down the plane, she asked one of the passengers: – “Would you like dinner?” – “What are my choices?” asked the passenger. – “Yes or No,” replied the attendant. More

  • Trusting My Mother

    I was trying to decide what to do for a talent show I planned to enter. Trusting my mother to help me out, I asked, “For the talent show, what do you think I should do, sing or put on a comedy act?” Glancing up from her paper, she said dryly, “What’s the difference?” More

  • Cupid

    I don’t know why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day… When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. More

  • Playing games

    There is a knock on the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks out, and a man is standing there. Saint Peter is about to begin his interview when the man disappears. A moment later there’s another knock. Saint Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, but the man disappears once again. […] More

  • Don’t tell me…

    A young couple is on their honeymoon. The husband is sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, “Now how can I tell my wife that I’ve got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I’ve managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she’s […] More

  • Fall out

    As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, “All right! All you idiots fall out.” As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye to eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. […] More

  • Too Old To Drive

    My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn. He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.He said with excitement, “You appear quite […] More

  • Cabbie

    One dismal rainy night in Sydney a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping […] More

  • Bush vs. Osama

    Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dogfight. They would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. Osama found the biggest, […] More

  • A Million Dollars

    A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to GOD. “GOD”, he said, “How long is a million years?” GOD answered, “In my frame of reference, it’s about a minute.” The man asked, “GOD, how much is a […] More

  • Walking on Water

    A rabbi, priest, and a minister are out fishing in a boat on a big lake when the priest realizes that he has to go to the bathroom. Not wanting to disturb the fishing of the others in the boat by having them take him to shore, he gets out of the boat and walks […] More

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