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Latest stories

  • Match

    A redneck farmer from back in the hills walked twelve miles, one way, to the general store. “Heya, Wilbur,” said Sam, the store owner. “Tell me, are you and Myrtle still making fires up there by rubbing stones and flint together?” “You betcha, Sam. Ain’t no ‘tother way. Why?” “Got something to show you. Something […] More

  • It was

    Two prisoners are talking about their crimes: George: ‘I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years’ Herman: ‘Hmm. I killed a man, and I’m here for 3 days’ George: ‘WHAT!? I rob a bank and get 20 years; you kill a man and get 3 days!?’ Herman: ‘Yeah, it was a lawyer.’ More

  • Habitual Drinker

    The poor man was such a habitual drinker that even he was finally convinced that he was an alcoholic. At his family’s urging he went to see a psychiatrist. After a lengthy consultation, the doctor sternly ordered that hereafter, every time the patient got drunk he was to report his transgression the very next day. […] More

  • Southwest

    A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big airplanes have baby airplanes?” The mother (who couldn’t […] More

  • Birthday

    A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, “So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?” She says, “Bernie, I want a divorce.” “My goodness,” he says, “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.” More

  • Why Men Wear Earrings

    A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.” The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.” “Don’t make […] More

  • The Devil

    George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs […] More

  • You are ABCDEF…

    After 15 years of marriage the wife asked her husband to describe her. The husband looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said, “ABCDEFGHIJK.” “What does that mean?” She asked. “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot!!!” he replied. Wife Smiling asked, “So sweet of you honey. What about IJK?” He […] More

  • Learning to drive

    An insurance agent’s wife was learning to drive when the brakes failed. “What should I do?” she cried. “Brace yourself, and try to hit something cheap.” More

  • After the wedding

    On their second night after the wedding, the two blissful newlyweds shut off the lights and crawl under the sheets. Turning anxiously towards his bride, he tenderly informs his wife that tonight he wants a hand job instead of the usual stuff. She, being the proper girl that she is, had absolutely no idea what […] More

  • Quitting Drugs

    Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show […] More

  • Thirsty

    A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he waits to get the bartender’s attention, a regular sitting next to him calls out, “I’ll have another waterloo.” The bartender gives the regular a tall ice cold drink and asks the newcomer what he would like. The thirsty man points to the man next to […] More

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