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  • Conscience

    An elderly Italian Jew wanted to unburden his guilty conscience by talking to his Rabbi. “Rabbi, during World War II, when the Germans entered Italy, I pretended to be a Catholic and changed my name from Levy to Spumoni, and I am alive today because of it.” “Self preservation is allowable, and the fact that […] More

  • Old enough

    Son: “Dad, when will I be old enough so I don’t have to ask mom for her permission to go out?” Dad: “Son, even I haven’t grown old enough to go out without her permission!” More

  • My idea

    I’m a mailman. At Christmas this year, Mrs. Jankowitz met me at the door and invited me in for a great breakfast spread. After I ate, I thanked her and she said, “There’s more.” She took me to her bedroom and showed me moves I had never imagined. I told her I had no idea […] More

  • Celebrating

    A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age. The husband responded, “When we were first married we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all […] More

  • Not at Home!

    A visitor to Santa, “Which is Mr Santa’s flat?” Santa: Please come with me. The visitor is taken on stairs to the 3rd floor. The visitor rings the bell and there is no response. He rings it again and again and still no one answers. Visitor: I think he is not in. Santa: Yeah, he […] More

  • Stick this

    Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and nothing was going right. The elves were complaining about not getting paid overtime. The reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and the sleigh was broken. Santa was furious. ‘I can’t believe it!’ he yells. ‘I’ve got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in […] More

  • Christmas Eve

    Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family’s Christmas […] More

  • Ex-Husband

    This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks, “I notice you’ve been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?” “Yes” she replies, “He’s my ex-husband, and has been drinking like […] More

  • Threat or promise

    A woman walks up to an obnoxious drunk at a bar and tells him, “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink.” The man replies, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.” More

  • That’s Strange

    A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.” The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: […] More

  • Witness Testimony

    A lawyer was questioning the testimony of a witness to a shooting. “Did you see the shot fired?” “No, sir, I only heard it.” “Stand down” said the judge sharply. “Your testimony is of no value.” The witness turned around in the box to leave, and when his back was turned to the judge he […] More

  • Bank on it

    A man and a woman meet in an elevator. “Where are you heading today?” the man asks. “I’m going down to give blood.” “How much do you get paid for giving blood?” “About $20.” “Wow,” says the man, “I’m going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100.” The woman angrily gets off […] More

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