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  • State Highways employe

    A cocky State Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, “I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road.” The old farmer said, “OK, but don’t go in that field.” The Highways employee said, “I have the authority of the State Government to go […] More

  • What’s the Quickest Way?

    An American tourist was visiting a small village in Newfoundland. He approached a local person and asked, “What’s the quickest way to Marystown?” The local, scratched his head, “Are ya walkin’ er drivin’?” he asked the stranger. “I’m driving,” said the stranger. “Well, that’s the quickest way.” More

  • Group therapy session

    A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he observed. To the first mother, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.” He turned to the second Mom. “Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in […] More

  • Complete & Finished!

    Can any one say the difference between complete and finished? No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between ‘Complete’ and ‘Finished.’ However, in a linguistic conference, held in London England, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clever winner. His final challenge was this. Some say there is no difference between ‘Complete’ and […] More

  • Nuns Confessional

    Four nuns are standing in line for confession. The first nun goes into the confessional and says bless me father for I have sinned I touched a man’s private parts. The priest asks, “What part of your body did you use?” The nun replies, “My right hand.” The priest tells her to dip her right […] More

  • Attitude

    A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband — who was a big burly man — tossed his trousers to his bride and said, “Here, put these on.” She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her […] More

  • Religious differences

    My ex-wife and I could not reconcile our marriage because of religious differences. She thought she was God. I disagreed. More

  • Having twins

    A couple is trying to have a baby. Finally, the blonde tells her husband, “Honey, I have great news! We’re pregnant, and we’re having twins!” The husband is overjoyed and says to his wife, “Honey that’s wonderful, but how do you know so soon that we’re having twins?” She nods her head and says, “Well, […] More

  • Anything?!

    A student comes to a young professor’s office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. “I would do anything to pass this exam,” she says. She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, and gazes meaningfully into his eyes “I mean,” she whispers, “I would do anything…” He returns […] More

  • A bit apprehensive…

    As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School.He was quiet sad looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation. “Scared, Lieutenant?”, I asked. He replied, “No, just a bit apprehensive.” I asked, “What’s the […] More

  • My Favourite Animal

    Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else in the class laughed. My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad […] More

  • The interested doctor

    A concerned woman phones a doctor and says, “Doctor, I’m worried about my husband. He thinks he’s a dog!” “I’m coming over right away,” the doctor says. When the doctor arrives, the woman opens the door, and her husband, on all four, starts wagging his bottom and licking the doctor’s hand. “Interesting”, the doctor says, […] More

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