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  • Go Ahead and Do It

    Police officer talks to a driver: “Your tail light is broken, your tires must be changed, and your bumper hangs halfway down. That will be 300 dollars!!” [Pause] Driver: “Alright, go ahead and do it. They want twice as much as that at the garage. More

  • I Want To Become A Politician

    “Dad, I want to become a politician,” said Jim. His father asked, “And what are you doing to become one?” “Nothing, dad.” “Good, you’re halfway there then.” More

  • Two caterpillars..

    Two caterpillars were crawling along a leaf when a butterfly flew past overhead. One caterpillar turned to the other one and said: “You’ll never get me up in one of those things!” More

  • Little Workers

    The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a nature history lesson. “Worker ants,” she told them, “can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?” One child was ready with the answer, “They don’t have a union?” More

  • It’s All About Perspective

    It was a baby mosquito’s first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, “How was your journey?” The baby mosquito replied, “It went great, everyone was clapping for me!” More

  • Special Horse

    A man needed a horse, so he went to a church and got one. Before he left, the priest told him that it was a special horse. In order to make the horse go, you say, “Thank God”, and for it to stop you say, “Amen”. So the man left, and a few minutes later […] More

  • I need your help, Doctor!

    An elderly patient went to the doctor. “I need your help, Doctor,” he said. “Do you remember those voices in my head which I’ve been complaining about for years?” “Yes.” “Well, they’ve suddenly stopped.” “That’s good. So what’s the problem?” “I think I might be going deaf.” More

  • Running a small business

    Two women were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business. “I started a new practice last year,” the first one said. “I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months.” “Why in the world would you do that?” the other asked. She responded, “It’s the […] More

  • Pay Day

    A man was very excited when he saw the text message on his phone, “Salary credited to your bank account.” Jumping for joy, he rushed towards his car to go out shopping. As soon he opened the door of the car, he received another message, “Car loan debited from bank account.” He closed the door […] More

  • A Home Affair

    My client buys many rental properties, not always with the 
enthusiastic support of his wife. Recently, I was showing him a home when his wife called. I could hear her ask what he was doing. “The real estate agent and I are having an affair,” he answered. “Oh, thank God,” she said. “I thought she […] More

  • Better Schooling

    Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to school? He wanted a higher education. More

  • How to get into Heaven

    An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, “How do you expect to get into Heaven?” The boy thought it over and said, “Well, I’ll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, ‘For Heaven’s sake, Dylan, come in or stay […] More

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