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  • 370HSSV-0773H

    Last week Putin received a coded message, reportedly from Ukrainian Parliament. It read: 370HSSV-0773H Putin was stumped and asked his Prime minister what the message could mean. The minister was totally stumped too, so they passed it to the top russian programmers, who spent 2 days trying to decipher it. Knackered, the programmers sent it […] More

  • Pay with a smile!

    “I hate paying my income tax.” “You should be a good citizen – why don’t you pay with a smile?” “I’d like to but they insist on money!” More

  • What do you have?

    A man walked into a Doctor’s office. “What do you have?” the receptionist asked. “Shingles,” he replied. She told him to sit down. Soon a nurse called him and asked, “What do you have?” “Shingles,” he replied. She took his blood pressure, weight, and complete medical history. Then she took him to a room and […] More

  • Best balls

    Eddie came to work Monday and his co-workers asked him how his weekend was. He said he played a little golf. So his co-worker asked him how well he did. “I hit two of my best balls,” he said. “Tell me about it,” said his co-worker. “I stepped on a rake.” More

  • Faith healer

    Two women were sitting in the doctor’s waiting room comparing notes on their various disorders. “I want a baby more than anything in the world,” said the first, “But I guess it is impossible.” “I used to feel just the same way,” said the second. “But then everything changed. That’s why I’m here. I’m going […] More

  • The New SUV

    Two old friends were chatting. One said to the other, “My 85th birthday was yesterday. The wife gave me an SUV.” Other guy responded, “Wow, that’s amazing! Imagine that, an SUV… what a great gift!” “Yup! Socks, Underwear, AND Viagra!” More

  • They Do Look Alike

    My sister was busy getting ready to host our entire family for Easter. On her to-do list was a hair appointment for her daughter. “So, Katie,” said the stylist as the little girl got up in the chair, “who’s coming to your house this weekend with big ears and floppy feet?” Katie replied, “I think […] More

  • Fresh Flowers

    There are women whose thoughtful husbands buy them flowers for no reason. And then there’s me. One day I couldn’t stand it any longer. “Why don’t you ever bring me flowers?” I asked. “What’s the point?” my husband said. “They die after about a week.” “So could you,” I shot back, “but I still like […] More

  • A man in a hurry

    A man in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited. “Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” the man said. “Aw, Dad, it’s probably okay,” the son said. “The police car right behind us just did the same thing.” More

  • Half

    A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, explodes one day in mid-session and begins to shout, “Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!” All the other Senators plead to the angry member that he withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of […] More

  • Poor Aunt Mildred

    A small boy turned to his Aunt Mildred and said, “Wow, you’re not pretty!” His mother overheard the remark and was appalled. She took him aside and gave him a real telling-off before ordering him to go back out to say sorry to Aunt Mildred Suitably chastened, the boy went over and said quietly, “Aunt […] More

  • Future plans

    A couple in their early seventies were discussing their future plans. The husband asked, “What will you do if I die before you?” The wife thought for a moment before replying, “I will probably look to share a house with three other single or widowed women, maybe people a little younger than me since I […] More

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