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  • Quickest way to New York

    A man approached a local in a village he was visiting. “What’s the quickest way to New York?” The local scratched his head. “Are you walking or driving?” he asked the stranger. “I’m driving.” “That’s the quickest way.” More

  • Public speaking skills

    The veteran politician, not known for his public speaking skills, was going to give a speech at the Olympics. He looked at the teleprompter and began, “O, O, O, O, O.” An aid quickly ran over and told him, “That is the logo sir.” More

  • 100 ways to become rich

    Beggar: Actually I am an author. I wrote ‘100 ways to become rich’ Mr. Roger: Then why are you begging? Beggar: This is one of the ways to become rich. More

  • Great team

    Coach: We have a great team this year. So far we have had no losses, no draws and no goals scored against us. Reporter: How many games have you played? Coach: The first one is next Sunday. More

  • Glowing number 5

    When the gambler wakes up from dreaming about a huge glowing number 5 made of gold and diamonds, he knows it’s an omen. So he grabs a racing form and looks up that day’s fifth race. Sure enough, the number 5 horse in the fifth race is Fifth Element. So for the rest of the […] More

  • Going to fight

    A political candidate stood on a platform and announced to the assembled crowd that he was going to fight radicalism, socialism, communism, and anarchism. One old man snorted and said, “I’ll vote for you when you can do something about rheumatism.” More

  • Strict Pizza Diet

    A man wakes up and finds himself in a hospital room, one with only himself in it. He has no recollection of how he got there. While pondering it, his bedside phone rings, and he answers it. A doctor on the other end identifies himself, and tells the man, “I have really bad news. You’re […] More

  • Eighty-eight

    A woman went to her new doctor for a checkup. He turned out to be absolutely gorgeous! He told her he was going to put his hand on her back and he wanted her to say “Eighty-eight.” “Eighty-eight,” she purred. “Good. Now I’m going to put my hand on your throat and I want you […] More

  • Advice

    An old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat. As the bus shakes and rattles, the old man’s cane slips on the floor and he falls. As he gets up, a seven year old kid, sitting nearby, turns to him and says, “If you put a little rubber thingy […] More

  • Let’s be honest

    Two lawyers were walking along, negotiating a case. “Look,” said one to the other, “let’s be honest with each other.” “Okay, you first,” replied the other. That was the end of the discussion. More

  • 40th wedding anniversary

    Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary… The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads, ‘Here Lies My Wife – Cold As Ever’”. “Yeah?” she replies. “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads, ‘Here Lies My Husband Stiff At […] More

  • Differences

    A surgeon was checking on a patient who had a hernia operation three days before. The doctor asked the man why he had not gotten out of bed. “I hurt,” the man said. “You don’t know how it feels.” “I know exactly how it feels,” the doctor said. “I had the same procedure last month, […] More

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