Animal Jokes | Hot Jokes

Feeling rowdy

A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?” The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion “Later, the lion confronts a wildebeest and fiercely bellows, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?” The terrified […] More

Never Talk to the Parrot

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn’t accommodate her with an “after-hours” appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. By the way, […] More

Parrot In Flight

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks, “And get me a whiskey!” The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whiskey for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out […] More

A Bunny Story

Once upon a time there was a man who was peacefully driving down a windy road. Suddenly, a bunny skipped across the road and the man couldn’t stop. He hit the bunny head on. The man quickly jumped out of his car to check the scene. There, lying lifeless in the middle of the road, […] More

Funny question

An elephant and a camel are talking. The elephant asks, “Why do you have boobs on your back?” The camel replied, “Ha! That’s a funny question coming from an animal with a pe**s hanging from his face.” More

A New Breed of Elephant

I took my seven year old son to the zoo today. We were walking around and soon he said, “Look Dad! It’s a frickin’ Elephant!” I was shocked and slightly angry, as everybody was looking at us. “What did you just call it?” I asked. “It’s a frickin’ Elephant, it says so on the picture!” […] More

We Found the Driver

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passengers had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, “I wish you could talk.” The monkey looked up at […] More

That Darn Cat

A man who absolutely hated his wife’s cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was nearing home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and […] More