Blonde Jokes

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  • Fishing secrets

    There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish ice fishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win, they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of […] More

  • Two friends

    Two girl friends were going on a trip to Florida. A neighbor told them that they’d be fine as long as they paid attention to the road signs along the way. They’d driven just 30 miles when they saw one that read “Clean Restrooms Ahead.” Two months later they arrived in Florida exhausted, having used […] More

  • 10 miles a day

    An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run 10 miles a day for 30 days. This, he promised, would help her lose as much as twenty pounds. The blonde follows the doctor’s advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she’d indeed lost twenty pounds. She […] More

  • Pregnant with twins

    A blonde goes to the doctor’s and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what’s wrong. She replies, “I know who the dad is for one of them but I don’t know who the dad is for the other one!” More

  • One wish

    A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was […] More

  • Having twins

    A couple is trying to have a baby. Finally, the blonde tells her husband, “Honey, I have great news! We’re pregnant, and we’re having twins!” The husband is overjoyed and says to his wife, “Honey that’s wonderful, but how do you know so soon that we’re having twins?” She nods her head and says, “Well, […] More

  • Beautiful goldfish

    Diane buys a hundred goldfish. There are so many of them that she decides to keep them in her bathtub. One day she invites her friend Lauren over to see all her beautiful goldfish. Lauren is impressed, and says, “They surely are beautiful, but what do you do when you want to take a bath?” […] More

  • Runaway

    A Blonde woman was standing near a train platform in New York with a pair of handcuffs and some rope. A gentleman being curious asked the blonde what the handcuffs and rope were for. The blonde responded by saying, “The news reported a runaway train heading to New York and I want the reward for […] More

  • Car designers are crazy

    A blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down from some place far off, to meet this friend. She reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, she decided to return, and called up her mother to expect her in the evening. But she didn’t reach home in […] More

  • College graduation

    Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation. They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning ? though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric […] More

  • I just saved

    A man ran into the house breathless and he said to his wife, “Honey, you should be so proud of me, I just saved $1.50 by not taking the bus, but I chased it all the way home.” The wife replied, “You want a medal for that? You should have chased a cab and saved […] More

  • I’ve been insulted

    The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. “I’ve been insulted,” she sobbed. “Your mother insulted me.” “My mother!” he exclaimed. “But she is a hundred miles away.” “I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it.” He looked stern, “I see, but where […] More

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