Blonde Jokes

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  • Two bored casino dealers..

    Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.” With that, she strips to the waist, rolls the dice, and […] More

  • Founded lamp

    A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was […] More

  • Emergency flashers

    A blonde’s car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. She then takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. […] More

  • Com-for-at-ble

    A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” […] More

  • Blonde Lost in a Snowstorm

    A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn’t panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it.” Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she […] More

  • The Religious Blonde

    A blonde hadn’t been to church for many many months. She always promised to go, but never did. One day, the pastor was astounded when she suddenly show up for Sunday service. Thereafter, she was at every Sunday service, every prayer meeting, every home group meeting, etc. Three months later, one Sunday after the service, […] More

  • A fun game

    A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists […] More

  • Mind telling me the time?

    BLONDE: “Excuse me, what time is it right now?” WOMAN: “It’s 11:25PM.” BLONDE: (confused look on face) “You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I’ve asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer.” More

  • I almost..

    A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. “Hey girls,” says the brunette, “Let’s go home early tomorrow. She’ll never know.” The next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead […] More

  • Trying on Shoes

    A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asks the salesclerk. “Well, they feel a bit tight,” replies the blonde. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the blonde’s feet. “Try pulling the tongue out,” offers the clerk. “Nath, […] More

  • Blonde and computers

    Yesterday I came back to my office from Court. There was a new secretary (a very attractive blonde, of course?) in the office down the hall from me. She flagged me down and asked for help. “My floppy drive won’t work, can you help me ?” she asked. I told her I’d take a look […] More

  • Which part?

    Brunette: – Where were you born? Blonde: – California. Brunette: – Which part? Blonde: – All of me. More

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