Children Jokes

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  • Fig Leaf Found

    A little boy opened the large old family Bible, and he looked with fascination at the ancient pages as he turned them one by one. He was still in Genesis when something fell out of the Bible. He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was a very large old tree leaf that […] More

  • Misbehaving

    Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved. More

  • Park Bench

    Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, “Grandpa are you going to take that new Vǐagra?” Grandpa looks at him and says, “No Johnny, I will not.” “But Grandpa, why?” asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies, “Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you […] More

  • Little Johnny’s Confession

    The children were all lined up for their first confession when Little Johnny’s turn came. The priest asked him to confess his sins, and the boy promptly replied, “Father, I threw a stone at Jimmy.” “That was a very misguided thing to do, my son,” said the priest patiently. “It wasn’t misguided at all,” said […] More

  • Got home early

    One day Jimmy got home early from school and his mom asked, “Why are you home so early?” He answered, “Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.” She said, “Wow, my son is a genius. What was the question?” Jimmy replied, “The question was ‘Who threw the trash can […] More

  • Child Custody

    A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children, so the […] More

  • Simple Addition

    Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have? Pappu: Seven Sir. Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2rabbits and another 2, how many will you have? Pappu: Seven. Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I […] More

  • Piece of rubber

    Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. […] More

  • Final Exam

    A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. ‘Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!’ A smart-ass student in the back […] More

  • Assignment Difficulty

    An elementary school teacher decides to pole the class on the difficulty of last night’s homework assignment: How many people were able to complete the assignment without parents help? About 25% of the class raises their hands. How many people we able to complete the assignment with the help of a parent? About 70% of […] More

  • Animal Pictures

    One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand. The teacher says “See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?” Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a […] More

  • Reward

    A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented: “Hmmm… That’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are 20 $1 bills.” The boy quickly replied: “That’s right, […] More

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