Children Jokes

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  • Seven flies

    Teacher: If there are seven flies and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left? Little Johnny: Just the squashed one. More

  • New gifts

    The small girl had recently received a new watch and some perfume, which she was very excited about. Their family asked the pastor over for dinner. The girl wanted so badly to tell the pastor about her new gifts, but her mother insisted she wait until after dinner and not interrupt at meal time. Not […] More

  • Learning From Teachers

    Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: “Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I […] More

  • How old?

    Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks. “Wow,” the lady said, “I must have worn these when I was 183.” Her niece looked puzzled, then asked, “How old […] More

  • No bike

    For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, “Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.” The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a […] More

  • Prayers

    A Sunday School teacher asked her pupils, “Now, children, do you all say your prayers at night?” A little boy answered: “My Mommy says my prayers.” “I see,” said the teacher, “and what does your Mother say?” Replied the little boy: “THANK GOD HE’S IN BED!” More

  • An Apple A Day

    Jake came rushing in to see his Dad. “Dad!” he puffed, “Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?” “That’s what they say,” said his Dad. “Well, give me an apple quick! I’ve just broken the doctor’s window!” More

  • Once Upon A Time

    A young girl asked her father if all fairy tales begin with “Once Upon A Time?” “No,” he replied. “A whole lot of them begin with ‘If elected, I promise …’” More

  • What is it called?

    Having been playing outside with his friends, a small boy came into the house and asked: “Grandma, what is it called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?” His grandma was surprised to hear such a forthright question from a six-year-old but decided to answer as […] More

  • Grandson Johnny

    So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma’s kitchen. “Well now, where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” […] More

  • Better throw it out!

    A small boy came running out of the bathroom in tears. “What’s the matter?” asked his father. “I dropped my toothbrush in the toilet.” “Okay, don’t worry, but we’d better throw it out.” So the father fished the toothbrush out of the toilet and put it in the garbage. When he returned, the boy was […] More

  • Let’s Call It Something Else

    Five-year-old Matt, worked with a speech therapist on the ‘ch’ sound, which came out sounding like a ‘k’ sound. The therapist asked him to say chicken. His response sounded more like kitchen. They tried again and again, but it always came out kitchen. Undeterred, she pushed him for one more try. Matt sighed and said, […] More

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