Children Jokes

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  • A Little Girl Wants To Go

    A little nine-year-old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. “Mommy,” she said, “Can we leave now?” “No” her mother replied. “Well, I think I have to throw up!” “Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.” In […] More

  • The sign

    Teacher: Why are you late? Student: Because, of the sign! Teacher: What sign? Student: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.” More

  • So nice

    Little Johnny’s class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, “it was so nice of you to put my daddy’s picture up there.” More

  • Birthday Party

    A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter and had gone all out….. a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they will help chop […] More

  • Test Performance

    Little Anne came running into the house after the school one day, shouting, “Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!” “That’s great sweetheart!” said her daddy. “Come into the living room and tell me about it,” daddy continued. Little Anne said, “Well, I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math and 20 in science.” More

  • Kindergarten teacher

    A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Bobby, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red. After seeing this, the […] More

  • Play a Game

    One day little Johnny went to school. His teacher said they were going to play a game. She would place an object behind her and describe it. The first person to get it got a piece of candy. First she said, “The object is red and grows on trees.” A kid raised his hand and […] More

  • Dad, What is..?

    An 8-year-old girl asks her father, “Daddy, what is se x?” The father is somewhat surprised that she would ask such a question. But, he reckons if she’s old enough to ask the question, then surely she’s old enough for a straight answer. So, the father proceeds to tell his young daughter all about the […] More

  • The Helpful Priest

    A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boys efforts for some time, the priest moves closer […] More

  • Southwest

    A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big airplanes have baby airplanes?” The mother (who couldn’t […] More

  • I Presume

    A school teacher asked her students to make a sentence containing the expression “I presume.” One little girl held up her hand and said, “Yesterday my mother hand washed the dinner dishes and I presumed that the dishwasher was broken.” “Very good,” said the teacher. Another one said, “This morning, my father drove the Volkswagen […] More

  • Name the Nation

    Teacher: “Name the nation that people dislike the most?” Little Johnny: “That’s easy, it’s the ‘Exami-nation’!” More

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