Joke of the day | Hot Jokes

I AM

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, groggy and bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, “Holy crap! That must be my husband!” So the man jumped out of the bed scared […] More

Why not?

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. “I can’t do that, officer.” “Why not?” “Because I’m an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.” “Okay, we’ll just get a […] More

Three mice

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, “When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my […] More

The Birthday gift…

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday. A friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles.” “She did,” he replied. “But where in the world was I gonna find a fake Jeep?” More

Jumbo jet

A man looked at the menu at the airport restaurant, and saw that the sandwiches were named for planes. “I’ll have a ‘jumbo jet’,” he said. When the order arrived, he was disappointed to see how small his burger was, but he ate it anyway. He called his waiter over. “Was that the ‘jumbo jet’?” […] More

Better throw it out!

A small boy came running out of the bathroom in tears. “What’s the matter?” asked his father. “I dropped my toothbrush in the toilet.” “Okay, don’t worry, but we’d better throw it out.” So the father fished the toothbrush out of the toilet and put it in the garbage. When he returned, the boy was […] More

Going Bananas

As part of the admission procedure in a hospital, a nurse will ask the patient if they are allergic to anything. If they are, the nurse prints it on an allergy band that goes on the patient’s wrist. Once when the nurse asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, the woman said she […] More

Let’s Call It Something Else

Five-year-old Matt, worked with a speech therapist on the ‘ch’ sound, which came out sounding like a ‘k’ sound. The therapist asked him to say chicken. His response sounded more like kitchen. They tried again and again, but it always came out kitchen. Undeterred, she pushed him for one more try. Matt sighed and said, […] More

Sorry for him

A woman was on the witness stand, accused of poisoning her husband. “After you put poison in the coffee, you sat at the breakfast table and watched your husband drink it. Tell me, didn’t you feel the slightest bit of pity for him?” the defense attorney prompted. “Yes,” she replied, “I think there was one […] More

Costs of production

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him, “What is wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman. He said, “This person will cook for you and wash […] More

Effects of alcohol

A biology teacher wished to demonstrate to his students the harmful effects of alcohol on living organisms. For his experiment, he showed them a beaker with pond water in which there was a thriving civilization of worms. When he added some alcohol into the beaker the worms doubled-up and died. “Now,” he said,” what do […] More

Sunday newspaper

A very drunk gent checked into a hotel late one Saturday night. He awoke very ill and summoned a bellboy to fetch him a bottle of whiskey and a Sunday newspaper. The bellhop was gone a long time. When he returned, the drunk remarked, “It must be hard to buy a bottle in this town […] More

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