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  • Little Johnny… fascinate

    A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word “fascinate” in it. A little girl says, “Walt Disney World is fascinating.” The teacher says, “No, I said, ‘fascinate.’” Another little girl says, “There’s so much fascination when it comes to sea life.” The teacher again says, “No, the word is fascinate.” […] More

  • Pole Dancers!

    A guy meets a childhood pal. “What are you doing for yourself these days?” “I’m a fireman.” “Oh yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman.” “Well, if you want some good advice, you’ve got to install in your house a pole that will go to the base- ment so your kid can practice, […] More

  • How much did you make, sweetie?

    A wife and husband are having money issues. One day they decide to have the wife work the corner. Later that night the husband goes to pick the wife up. He asks, “How much did you make, sweetie?” She answers, “I made $200.50.” The husband says, “What asshole gave you 50 cents?” She replies, “All […] More

  • 14 Year Courtship

    A man is madly in love with a princess and wants to propose, but an evil witch has cast a spell on him and now he can say only one word a year. So he waits 14 agonizing years—accumulating all his words—before approaching his beloved. Finally, the big day arrives. When he sees her, his […] More

  • Tell Me Stories

    Tom to his mom: “Mom, please tell me a story?” Mom: “Sorry, honey, I don’t have any new stories to tell. But you should ask your dad why he was late coming home today. He will then tell you some amazing stories.” More

  • Kiss

    One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, “Do you know what it is?” “No, I don’t,” said the little boy “Okay, I’ll give you a clue. It’s the thing […] More

  • Four Surgeons

    Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said, “I like operating on librarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order”. The second surgeon said, “I like operating on accountants. When you open them up everything is in numerical order”. The third surgeon said, “I […] More

  • Irish Sugar Test

    One day Paddy, an Irishman, goes into a pharmacy, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small Irish whiskey bottle and a teaspoon. He pours some liquid onto the teaspoon and offers it to the pharmacist and says, “Could you taste this for me, please?” The pharmacist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his […] More

  • Is there a problem?

    A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, “Is there a problem, Officer?” “No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you’re going to do […] More

  • Oak

    A young woman asks her mother, “Mom, how many kind of penisês are there?” The mother, surprised, answers, “Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man’s twenties, is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is […] More

  • Complete coverage

    Two men are in a doctor’s office. Each of them are to get a vasectomy…the nurse comes into the room and tells both men, “Strip and put on these gowns before going in to see the doctor to have your procedures done.” A few minutes later she returns and reaches into one man’s gown and […] More

  • Winking Problem

    A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, “This is phenomenal. You’ve graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we’d hire you without a second thought. However, a […] More

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