Joke of the day

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  • I’m Still Ahead

    My wife and I were comparing notes the other day. “I have a higher IQ, did better on my SAT’s, and make more money than you,” she pointed out. “Yeah, but when you step back and look at the big picture, I’m still ahead,” I said. She looked mystified. “How do you figure?” “I married […] More

  • What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?

    The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Johnny! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?” Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!” More

  • Smokey Dinner Call

    My cooking has always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm. Annoyed, I stormed through the house […] More

  • Two jobs

    In order to pay his medical school tuition, a student was working two jobs over the summer. One was as a butcher’s assistant and the other as a hospital orderly, both jobs that required the young man wear a long white coat. One night he was wheeling a woman into surgery when she sat up […] More

  • One Will Do

    A kid asked his mother, “Mom, can you buy me those two toys that we had seen at the store the other day?” His mother replied, “I will buy you one of them. One is enough to keep you busy at playtime.” Later that day, the kid started doing his homework. The mother said, “Remember […] More

  • No Labor Required

    When my friend got a job, her husband agreed to share the housework. He was stunned by the amount of effort involved in keeping a house clean with small boys to pick up after, and insisted that he and his wife shop for a new vacuum cleaner. The salesman gave them a demonstration of the […] More

  • Lunch Break

    When a squirrel slipped into my house, I did the logical thing: I panicked and called my father. “How do you get a squirrel out of a basement?” I shrieked. Dad advised me to leave a trail of peanut butter and crackers from the basement to the outside. It worked—the squirrel ate his way out […] More

  • Allow me to explain..

    In the middle of an argument a man said to his wife, Sissi, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time!” Sissi responded calmly, “Allow me to explain… the good Lord made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; and he made me stupid […] More

  • Work telephones

    The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting. Dad: “People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone; I use the one at the office.” Mum: “Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use […] More

  • An apple a day

    A doctor and a dentist fell in love with a same girl. One day, the dentist had to go abroad for one week to fulfill his work, so he gave the girl seven apples and asked her to eat one apple everyday. Know why? An apple a day keeps the doctor away! More

  • Stunningly Beautiful…

    I bumped into an old school friend today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports car. Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I said, “If you think she’s gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend.” He said, “Why? Is she a […] More

  • Walking in the forest

    An old old woman is walking in the forest with a gun. She meets a young man and says to him suspiciously, “Wanna rape me, huh?” “No, no, certainly not.” (Pointing her gun on him) “But you will.” More

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