Joke of the day

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  • Is the Client Always Right?

    A graphic designer on the phone with his client. Designer: Hi. I’m just updating the copy for your form and was wondering if you meant to say “programs” for the third question. Client: No! What I sent along was completely accurate. Just copy it over exactly as it says. I’ll explain it nice and slowly […] More

  • He Told Me

    In a psychiatrist’s waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, “Why are you here?” The second answers, “I’m Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.” The first is curious and asks, “How do you know that you’re Napoleon?” The second responds, “God told me I was.” At […] More

  • The Pope and KFC Deal

    When KFC sales hit a lean patch, Colonel Sanders came up with a brilliant advertising idea. He got in touch with the Pope and asked the pontiff whether he could change the words of the Lord’s Prayer from “Give us this day a daily bread” to “Give us this day a daily chicken.” “I can’t […] More

  • Blind date

    After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on […] More

  • I had this wild, vivid dream..

    Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!” The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s […] More

  • The small rabbit

    An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’ So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the […] More

  • Two bored casino dealers..

    Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.” With that, she strips to the waist, rolls the dice, and […] More

  • The Supportive Younger Brother

    Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well deserved complaining and self-pitying. She moaned to her mom and her younger brother, “Nobody loves me…the whole world hates me!” Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up […] More

  • Guess who

    A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he […] More

  • That’s How Mary Did It

    Wife: What are your plans for Easter? Husband: Same as Jesus… Wife: What do you mean? Husband: I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday! On hearing that the wife retorts,”AWESOME, you do that, I’ll do a Mary and show up pregnant untouched by my husband.” The man stayed home. More

  • Meeting the Bride

    My cousin was in love and wanted to introduce his bride-to-be to his super-critical mother. But in order to get an unbiased opinion, he invited over three other female friends as well and didn’t tell his mom which one he intended to marry. After the four women left, he asked his mother, “Can you guess […] More

  • 50th Anniversary

    An older gentleman goes into a bar and hears the other patrons discussing the ups and down of marriage. “Next week my wife and I will celebrate our fiftieth anniversary,” he tells them. “That’s great. What’s your secret for a long and happy marriage,” one asks. “Well, you have to do nice things for your […] More

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