Joke of the day

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  • Getting Married!

    A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put him at ease. When they came to the question, “Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?” There […] More

  • For my husband

    A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. “It`s for my husband,” she tells the clerk. “Did he tell you what gauge to get?” asked the clerk. “Are you kidding?” she says. “He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!” More

  • God and Gifts

    Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. “I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…” “I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO…” “I PRAY FOR A […] More

  • Good advice…

    A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when, all of a sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse goes, “BARK!!” and the cat runs away. “See?” says the mother mouse to her baby, “how important it is for you to learn a foreign language?” More

  • I’m Jesus Christ!!!

    A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs right into two priests. He says, “I’m Jesus Christ.” The first priest says, “No, son, you’re not.” So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest says, “No, son, you’re not.” The drunk says, Look, I can prove it. He walks back into […] More

  • The Angry Wife

    One evening I was in a bar talking to my friend. “Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house..” “Did he get anything?” asked my friend. “Yes,” I said. “A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home […] More

  • Italian neighbor

    John is paying a visit to his Italian neighbor in the hospital, who just had a very serious traffic accident. He doesn’t look like very much: in plaster, completely wrapped in a bandage, tons of hoses and infusions. he looks like a mummy. John tries to have a conversation, but his neighbor has his eyes […] More

  • Marriage Problems

    A man and woman were having marriage problems and decided to end their union after a very short time together. After a briefest attempt to reconcile, the couple went to court to finalize their break-up. The judge asked the husband, “What has brought you to this point, where you are not able to keep this […] More

  • How You Earned It!

    A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the […] More

  • Trouble

    Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!” The next morning he got up early and left for work. When […] More

  • The Priest and the Hair Dryer

    A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favour?” “Of course. What may I do for you?” “Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the customs limits and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there anyway you could carry […] More

  • Multi-syllable words

    Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?” Sarah waves her hand, “Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!” Miss Rogers says, “All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?” Sarah says, “Mas-tur-bate.” Miss Rogers smiles and says, “Wow, […] More

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