Joke of the day

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  • Terrible news

    This guy was sitting in his attorney’s office. His lawyer says: “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” “Give me the bad news first,” he says. “Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars,” his lawyer informs him. “That’s the bad news?” asks the man incredulously. “I can’t wait to […] More

  • Exactly like The MOON

    One day a Professor was talking about marriage in the class. Professor: What kind of Wife would you like Little Johnny? Little Johnny: I would want a wife like the moon. Professor: Wow !!! What a choice… So you want her to be Cool & Calm like the moon? Little Johnny: No, no… Professor: Oh, […] More

  • Magic Window

    Two guys are sitting at a bar. “You know why I love this bar?” asks the first one. “No,” says the second guy. “Why do you love this bar?” The first guy points at the window, which is six stories above the ground. “It has a magic window,” he says. “You jump out of that […] More

  • Boss Issues

    A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, “I’m the Boss”. He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found […] More

  • In-flight Service !

    On a long haul UK flight, a mother took her young son to the toilet and told him she would come back for him, in five minutes. However, he was finished in two minutes so he left the toilet and wandered off down the aisle, in the opposite direction from where his mother was. Meanwhile, […] More

  • Maternity Ward

    Father: (at the hospital looking through the glass at the newly arrived babies) “Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she smiled! Isn’t she adorable?” Friend: “But your kid didn’t smile.” Father: “I was talking about the nurse. More

  • 9 Months Later

    Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered he door if they could spend the night. “I realize […] More

  • Husbands nicknames

    Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their se x lives. Karen said, “I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does.” Joanne giggled and confessed, “I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft.” Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally […] More

  • Growing Tomatoes

    A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen,”What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?” The gentlemen […] More

  • Cuckoo Clock

    At about 3AM, I was drunk as a skunk. I came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself. The next day, my wife asked what […] More

  • Be strong honey

    A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. He ties the girl to the bed and he gets on top […] More

  • The Secret Airbase

    United State Air Force has a high security, super secret base in Nevada, known simply as “Area 51?” One afternoon, a Cessna landed at this “secret” base. The aircraft was immediately impounded and the pilot was interrogated. The pilot’s story was that – he took off from Vegas, got lost & spotted the Base just […] More

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