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  • No One Slept with Mom

    Ever notice how a 4-year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults ? Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, Karey, apparently scared by […] More

  • Cheers Everybody!

    In our life, problems may go from “Haywards 2000” to “Haywards 5000”, but we must take them as a “Royal Challenge” otherwise people will call us “Old Monk” and put a “Black Label” on our name. So, we must learn from “Teachers” to fight like “Jack Daniel”, live like a “Bagpiper”, walk like “Johny Walker”, […] More

  • Dining Companion

    A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress (taking another order at a table a few paces away) suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way […] More

  • Stay Away from Mom when

    Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff. But then the teacher realised that only Little Johnny […] More

  • The secret of my success

    Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared. “Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success,” he cackled. “I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now.” The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep […] More

  • Tight Fit

    An annoyingly self-righteous man went to the doctor for a check-up. He said, “I feel terrible. Please examine me and tell me what’s wrong with me?” “Let’s begin with a few questions,” said the doctor. “Do you drink much?” “Alcohol?” said the man. “I’m a teetotaller. Never touch a drop.” “How about smoking?” asked the […] More

  • Cow Horns

    A blonde asked a farmer, “Why doesn’t this cow have any horns?” The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, “Well, cattle can do a lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep them trimmed down. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the […] More

  • What’s for supper?

    This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to go out and ask his wife what was for supper. Well, his missus was quite irritated about him sitting in the air conditioned house all day while she did all the […] More

  • PE Teacher!

    A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher for 16 – 18 year olds. She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun, kicking a football. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. “Are you ok?” […] More

  • Bum Deodorant

    A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell bum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like […] More

  • Head and Shoulders

    A blonde and a brunette are both in an elevator. On the third floor a man gets on who’s perfect: Italian suit, handsome, great build with a nice butt, but unfortunately they both notice he has a bad case of dandruff. The man gets off on the 5th floor. Once the doors close, the brunette […] More

  • Hot date

    A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat. “No!” yells the blonde. Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again. “For the last time, no!” says the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asks, […] More

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