Joke of the day

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  • Blondes on a plane

    Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced “One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don’t worry we have three engines left”. Thirty minutes later, the captain announced “One more engine has failed and the flight will be two […] More

  • Used Car

    It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them if they were stealing the car. They said “Heavens no, we bought it.” He said, “Then why […] More

  • Sons Devoted to Mom

    Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother. “Well,” said the first one, “I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills.” “I bought her a Mercedes and hired […] More

  • In Love

    The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, “Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?” “I’m in love,” the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, “With whom?” “With YOU!” he said. “But Johnny,” she said […] More

  • Stopped By The Police

    John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, “I’m very sorry officer, I didn’t realize it was out, I’ll get it fixed right away.” Just […] More

  • TGIF

    A businessman got into an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, ‘T-G-I-F’ He smiled at her and replied, ‘S-H-I-T’ She looked at him puzzled and said, ‘T-G-I-F’ again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering, ‘S-H-I-T.’ The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she […] More

  • Benefits of Being an Atheist

    A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. The religious man prayed every single day and night, spending much time at church, while the atheist never even thought of such acts. However, the atheist had a good life. An excellent, well-payed job, and a beautiful wife, lovely, healthy, children, whereas the religious […] More

  • Alligator Woes

    Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says; I don’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age, we were the same size as kids… I just don’t get it.” “Well,” says the big alligator, “what have […] More

  • Paranormal Phenomena

    A peculiarly scary thing was happening in a hospital’s ICU. Every Sunday, with unfailing regularity, patients on bed number 5 died at 11 AM. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. To investigate the cause of such bizarre incidents, the doctors and nurses decide to […] More

  • Free Ride

    A mother asked her young son, as they waited for the bus, to tell the driver he was 5 years old, because then he would ride for free. As they got into the bus the driver asked him how old he was. “I am 5 years old,” said the little boy proudly. The driver had […] More

  • The fire truck game

    Him: Lets play the fire truck game Me: OK, how do you play? Him: I run my fingers up your leg and you say red light when you want me to stop Me: Ok *few seconds later* REDLIGHT! Him: Don’t you know, Firetrucks don’t stop for red lights More

  • The Old Drunk

    A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, “Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?” The drunk looks back and says, “Yess, Preasher… I ssssure […] More

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