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  • Drunkard’s Truth!

    Late one Friday night the policemen spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. “Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven […] More

  • Biggest Lie

    The priest was passing a group of young teens sitting on the church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing. “Nothing much, father,” replied one boy. “We were just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about their s*x life.” “Boys, boys, boys!” he scolded. “I’m shocked. When I was your age, I […] More

  • Just Pull the Plug…

    A man and his wife were sitting in the living room. Husband, “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.” His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his […] More

  • What do I look like?

    A man came home from work one day and his wife asked him to fix the toilet. The man says “who do i look like the plumber?” and never fixed it…. The man comes home the next day and his wife asks him to fix the garbage disposal. The man says “who do i look […] More

  • Can of Peas!

    This 60-year old woman was arrested for shoplifting. When she went before the judge, he asked her, “What did you steal?” She replied, “A can of peaches.” The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches […] More

  • Fire!

    A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into. The firemen yell to the Brunette, “Jump! Jump! It`s your only chance to survive!” The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket […] More

  • (R)ear drops!

    A Blonde brought her baby in to see the doctor, and right away he determined that baby had an ear ache. Doctor wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, “Put two drops in right ear every four hours” and he abbreviated “right” as an R with a circle around it. Several […] More

  • A real hurry!

    A guy rushes into a bar, orders four expensive thirty-year-old single malts and has the bartender line them up in front of him. Then, without pausing, he downs each one. “Whew,” the bartender remarks, “you seem to be in a hurry.” “You would be, too, if you had what I have.” “What do you have?” […] More

  • Applause !

    There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn`t then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette […] More

  • Observation !

    A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting. “You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear.” At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger […] More

  • When you grow up

    A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to […] More

  • The 3 Priests

    There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go home to Pittsburgh. Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass, well endowed, gorgeous, amazing woman. The priests were all in embarrassing new territory, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets. The first priest approached the window… […] More

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