Lawyer Jokes

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  • The hit and run case

    A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore the door off of the driver’s side. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled […] More

  • Lawyers Get Robbed

    Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on lawyer number one jams something in lawyer number […] More

  • The Old Lawyer….

    Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gates of Heaven, and the angel standing there said, “We’ve been waiting a long time for you.” What do you mean he replied, “I’m only 45, in the prime of my life. Why did I have to die now?” “45? You’re […] More

  • Honest?

    Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. “My name is Billy. What’s yours?” asked the first boy. “Tommy,” replied the second. “My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?” asked Billy. Tommy replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.” “Honest?” asked […] More

  • Dead or alive

    A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas.  The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a […] More

  • Most Preferred Husbands

    Believe it or not…. Lawyers are the most preferred husbands for ladies. Surprised? Don’t be, I asked a girl why do you prefer a lawyer to marry? She Said: They bow their head while entering the room and again while going out. They say ‘your honor,’ ‘my lord’ before and after every world. They don’t […] More

  • Divorce Counselling

    A couple whose marriage was going on the rocks sought the advice of a marriage counselor. The counselor pleaded with them to patch up their quarrel, but they were adamant. “So,” said the counselor, “you know the consequences and you want to part. Remember this. You must divide your property equally.” The wife flared up. […] More

  • Smart sheriff

    A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he’s smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than an sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, “What for?” The sheriff responds, “You didn’t come to […] More

  • Lawyers On A Flight

    An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers […] More

  • A fun game

    A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists […] More

  • The Truth Be Told

    A lawyer had a wife and 12 children and needed to move as his rental agreement was coming to an end for the home where he lived but was having difficulty in finding a new home. When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they knew that […] More

  • Lawyer’s Wife

    There was a Lawyer who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, “When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. […] More

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