Lawyer Jokes

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  • A Free Haircut

    A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, “You do God’s work.” The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop. A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber […] More

  • Grandma in Court

    In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’re a big disappointment to me. […] More

  • Poor lawyer

    One day, a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer all die and go to Heaven. St. Peter`s there, and when they get to the gate, St. Peter informs them that there will be a test to get into Heaven: they each have to answer one question. To the teacher, he says, “What was the […] More

  • Oldest Profession!

    A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The physician said, “Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession.” The engineer replied, “But, before that, […] More

  • Haven’t I seen your face before?

    – “Haven’t I seen your face before?” a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. – “You have, Your Honor,” the man answered hopefully. “I gave your son violin lessons last winter.” – “Ah, yes,” recalled the judge. “Twenty years!” More

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