Marriage Jokes

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  • I’m The Boss!

    The boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. The next day, he brought a small sign that Read: “I’m the Boss !” He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note […] More

  • Hobbies of Husband

    A woman went shopping, At cash counter, she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse. He couldn’t control his curiosity and asked, “Do you always carry your TV remote with you?” She replied, “No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today… The story […] More

  • Marriage vs Love

    Love is holding hands in the street, Marriage is holding arguments in the street. Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant, Marriage is a take-home packet. Love is watching a movie on a sofa, Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa. Love is talking about having children, Marriage is talking about […] More

  • Getting Married!

    A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put him at ease. When they came to the question, “Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?” There […] More

  • Change of Mind!

    Mrs. Sullivan and her little daughter Patty were outside the church watching all the comings and goings of a wedding. After the photographs had been taken, everyone had driven off to the reception, and all the excitement was over. Patty asked her mother, “Why did the bride change her mind, Mommy?” “What do you mean, […] More

  • For my husband

    A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. “It`s for my husband,” she tells the clerk. “Did he tell you what gauge to get?” asked the clerk. “Are you kidding?” she says. “He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!” More

  • The Angry Wife

    One evening I was in a bar talking to my friend. “Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house..” “Did he get anything?” asked my friend. “Yes,” I said. “A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home […] More

  • Marriage Problems

    A man and woman were having marriage problems and decided to end their union after a very short time together. After a briefest attempt to reconcile, the couple went to court to finalize their break-up. The judge asked the husband, “What has brought you to this point, where you are not able to keep this […] More

  • Trouble

    Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!” The next morning he got up early and left for work. When […] More

  • Why?

    Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so […] More

  • Waiting for love…

    A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. “No thank you.” she said politely. “This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.” “That must […] More

  • Did you see me?

    A man walks in a bank, pulls out a gun, and robs the bank… Then he turns around and asks the next customer in line, “Did you see me rob this bank?” The customer replies, “YES!” The robber raises his gun, points to his head and BANG!!!!!… shoots him in the head and kills him! […] More

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