Marriage Jokes

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  • Mother-In-Law

    A husband and wife had a fight. Wife called her mom: He fought with me again, I am coming to stay with you. Mom: No dear, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you! More

  • Husband and Wine

    A couple are sitting in their living room, sipping wine. Out of the blue, the wife says, “I love you!” “Is that you or the wine talking?” asks the husband. “It’s me,” says the wife. “Talking to the wine.” More

  • The Fiance

    A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out more about the young man. The father invites the fiancee to his study to find out more about him. “So what are your plans?” the father asks. “I am a bible scholar” the young […] More

  • Wife’s Diary

    Wife’s Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting strange. We went to a nice restaurant for dinner. I thought he was upset by the fact that I was a bit late, but he said nothing about it. I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was something I […] More

  • Son wants to get Married

    Son: Dad, I want to get married. Father: First, tell me you’re sorry. Son: For what? Father: Say sorry. Son: But for what ? What did i do? Father: Just say sorry. Son: But…what have i done wrong ? Father: say sorry! Son: WHY? Father: Say sorry!! Son: Please, just tell me why? Father: Say […] More

  • Picky Beggar!

    Wife: I hate that beggar. Husband: Why? Wife: That rascal, yesterday I gave him food and today he gave me a Cookbook! More

  • It’s gonna start!

    A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick! Bring me a beer before it starts!” She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, “Quick! Bring me another beer! It’s gonna start!” This time […] More

  • Skin Graft

    A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor […] More

  • Golden wedding anniversary

    A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. “Well, it dates back to our honeymoon,” explained the husband. “We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down […] More

  • Rules

    A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. “I’ll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want,” he insisted. “And, I don’t expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell […] More

  • What to get the wife with everything!

    Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, and he said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stumped.” His buddy said, “I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a […] More

  • Penny scale

    A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. “Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. “It says I’m energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover.” “Yeah,” his wife nodded, “and it has your weight wrong, […] More

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