Miscellaneous Jokes

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  • Meeting

    All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. “I should be in charge,” said the brain, “Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.” “I should be in charge,” said the blood, “Because I circulate oxygen all over so […] More

  • Skydiving for the first time

    A man is going skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. The man goes up in the airplane and waits to get to the proper altitude. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. After a bit, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. […] More

  • I Don’t Want to Go

    Thanksgiving day was approaching and the family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on their way to church. Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing: “The Pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers.” “Oh yeah?” her young grandson replied, “So why is […] More

  • Match

    A redneck farmer from back in the hills walked twelve miles, one way, to the general store. “Heya, Wilbur,” said Sam, the store owner. “Tell me, are you and Myrtle still making fires up there by rubbing stones and flint together?” “You betcha, Sam. Ain’t no ‘tother way. Why?” “Got something to show you. Something […] More

  • Learning to drive

    An insurance agent’s wife was learning to drive when the brakes failed. “What should I do?” she cried. “Brace yourself, and try to hit something cheap.” More

  • Six months…

    The middle-aged man was visibly shaken when his Doctor advised that he had only 6 month’s to live because of the terminal disease that was detected during a recent physical check-up. The Doctor suggested that he should get his “house in order”, make sure his Will was current and ensure all final arrangements were in […] More

  • Three Spies

    Three Spies are captured in London. One is German, one is French and the other is Italian. First they interrogate the German spy and after 3 hours of torture he talks and is thrown back into the cell with the others. Then the French spy is interrogated, and after about 8 hours of torture they […] More

  • Man Has Faith

    A man goes swimming in the ocean but gets sucked out to sea. A boat passes by him and tells him to climb aboard but he says “I have faith, God will save me.” The Coast Guard comes by with a rescue helicopter and tells him to climb the ladder up, but he says “I […] More

  • Girl or Boy

    A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter. A: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father. B: I’m not. I’m her MOTHER. More

  • Conscience

    An elderly Italian Jew wanted to unburden his guilty conscience by talking to his Rabbi. “Rabbi, during World War II, when the Germans entered Italy, I pretended to be a Catholic and changed my name from Levy to Spumoni, and I am alive today because of it.” “Self preservation is allowable, and the fact that […] More

  • My idea

    I’m a mailman. At Christmas this year, Mrs. Jankowitz met me at the door and invited me in for a great breakfast spread. After I ate, I thanked her and she said, “There’s more.” She took me to her bedroom and showed me moves I had never imagined. I told her I had no idea […] More

  • Check Your Levels

    A man enters the kitchen, opens the sugar box, looks inside and closes it. He does it again and again. Why? Because the doctor told him to check his sugar levels regularly. More

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