Miscellaneous Jokes

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  • A Confident Genius

    A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, “Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don’t know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can’t answer yours I will give you $5,000.” The idiot says, “Okay.” The […] More

  • Starting At 8:05

    A friend and I were golfing one day when at the 18th hole this guy comes out of nowhere and asks if he could join us. I tell him, “Well, we’re just about done but if you want to join us tomorrow you can. We start at 8 o’clock.” He said, “Great! I’ll be here […] More

  • Twins

    A man was driving along the highway and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately, the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side […] More

  • Watermelons

    There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He […] More

  • A Russian party-official

    A Russian party-official arrives late at night to his hotel (in Russia). He is not surprised to find that his reservation has been mislaid but he is more than a little peeved that his status in the party isn’t enough to get him a good room anyway. However, the clerk insists, the only bed they […] More

  • Worries While Flying

    Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, he announced that […] More

  • Uninvited Announcement

    Each year our company holds a training session in the conference room of the same hotel. When we were told we would not be able to reserve our usual location, my secretary, Gail, spent many hours on the phone trying to work out alternative arrangements. Finally, when the details were ironed out, she burst into […] More

  • Expensive Lessons

    A father was buying bass lessons for his son. After the 1st week, the father asked him what he had learned. The son said, “On my 1st lesson we learned about the E string.” The 2nd week came and after the lesson, the father asked what had he learned that week. The son said, “On […] More

  • Special Horse

    A man needed a horse, so he went to a church and got one. Before he left, the priest told him that it was a special horse. In order to make the horse go, you say, “Thank God”, and for it to stop you say, “Amen”. So the man left, and a few minutes later […] More

  • Pay Day

    A man was very excited when he saw the text message on his phone, “Salary credited to your bank account.” Jumping for joy, he rushed towards his car to go out shopping. As soon he opened the door of the car, he received another message, “Car loan debited from bank account.” He closed the door […] More

  • Not So Smart Friends

    A young lady stops at the gas station to fill up and realizes she has locked her keys inside the car. When going inside to pay, she asks for a hanger to unlock her car. After a few minutes the attendant comes to help. The not so bright lady is moving the hanger, while inside […] More

  • Pay with a smile!

    “I hate paying my income tax.” “You should be a good citizen – why don’t you pay with a smile?” “I’d like to but they insist on money!” More

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