Miscellaneous Jokes

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  • Faith healer

    Two women were sitting in the doctor’s waiting room comparing notes on their various disorders. “I want a baby more than anything in the world,” said the first, “But I guess it is impossible.” “I used to feel just the same way,” said the second. “But then everything changed. That’s why I’m here. I’m going […] More

  • A man in a hurry

    A man in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited. “Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” the man said. “Aw, Dad, it’s probably okay,” the son said. “The police car right behind us just did the same thing.” More

  • Trying something different

    A church minister decided to try something a little different for his Sunday sermon. He told his congregation: “I am going to call out a single word, and I want you to sing a hymn that immediately springs to mind.” First, the minister shouted out: “Cross.” And the congregation started to sing in unison: “The […] More

  • Modern Garage Door Opener

    My wife and her friend Karen were talking about their labor-saving devices as they pulled into our driveway. Karen said, “I love my new garage-door opener.” “I love mine too,” my wife replied, and honked the horn three times. That was the signal for me to come out and open the garage. More

  • Pay them with a smile

    A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, “We feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to […] More

  • The nurse

    “What do you do?” a young man asked the beautiful girl he was dancing with. “I’m a nurse.” “I wish I could be ill and let you nurse me,” he whispered in her ear. “That would be miraculous. I work on the maternity ward.” More

  • Two jobs

    In order to pay his medical school tuition, a student was working two jobs over the summer. One was as a butcher’s assistant and the other as a hospital orderly, both jobs that required the young man wear a long white coat. One night he was wheeling a woman into surgery when she sat up […] More

  • One Will Do

    A kid asked his mother, “Mom, can you buy me those two toys that we had seen at the store the other day?” His mother replied, “I will buy you one of them. One is enough to keep you busy at playtime.” Later that day, the kid started doing his homework. The mother said, “Remember […] More

  • No Labor Required

    When my friend got a job, her husband agreed to share the housework. He was stunned by the amount of effort involved in keeping a house clean with small boys to pick up after, and insisted that he and his wife shop for a new vacuum cleaner. The salesman gave them a demonstration of the […] More

  • End of the Honeymoon

    Mr. Sharma: ”When I die, love, I want to be cremated.” Mrs. Sharma: ”That is a good idea, dear. The gold in your teeth ought to pay all the expenses.” More

  • Work telephones

    The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting. Dad: “People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone; I use the one at the office.” Mum: “Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use […] More

  • Yes what??

    Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not? Pilot: Yes. Tower: Yes what?? Pilot: Yes, SIR! More

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