Miscellaneous Jokes

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  • Fifty people swindled!

    A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, “Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!” Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. What he saw was yesterday’s paper. The man said, “Hey, this is an old paper. Where’s the story about […] More

  • Volume Control

    It seemed that all our appliances had broken in the same week, and repairs were straining our budget. So when I picked up the kids from school and our Jeep started making rattling sounds, I decided that rather than burden my husband, I’d deal with it. When we got home, the kids rushed right into […] More

  • Seven Dollar Hair Cuts

    A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters’ place. They put up a big bold sign which read: “WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!” Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign: “WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!” More

  • Teaching to swim

    A member of the country club asked the lifeguard how he might go about teaching a young lady to swim. “It takes considerable time and technique,” replied the guard. “First you must take her into the water, then place one arm about her waist, hold her tightly, then take her right arm and raise it […] More

  • My Mother Had Three Kids

    A man went to New York on a business trip. When the trip was over, he took a cab to get to the airport. The cab driver decided to have a little fun at the man’s expense, so he asked, “My mother had three kids, one was my brother, one was my sister, who was […] More

  • Beautiful goldfish

    Diane buys a hundred goldfish. There are so many of them that she decides to keep them in her bathtub. One day she invites her friend Lauren over to see all her beautiful goldfish. Lauren is impressed, and says, “They surely are beautiful, but what do you do when you want to take a bath?” […] More

  • Sweet Markings

    When I see lovers’ names carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet… I just think it’s surprising how many people bring a knife on a date. More

  • Trip to the mall

    On a trip to the mall, a couple agreed to split up, visit their favorite shops and meet up again in an hour and a half. So while he visited the bike shop and the sporting goods store, she concentrated on the biggest clothing store. When he met up with her ninety minutes later as […] More

  • New Year’s resolution

    John, at a New Year’s party, turns to his friend, Dave, and asks for a smoke. “I thought you made a New Year’s resolution and that you don’t smoke,” Dave says. “I’m in the process of quitting,” replies John with a grin. “I am in the middle of phase one.” “Phase one?” asks David. “Yeah,” […] More

  • Between 5 & 6

    The older police detective stopped by my house and asked where i was between 5 & 6? I respectfully replied, “Kindergarten, sir.” More

  • Bill & Moe

    Bill and Moe had started with only five hundred dollars between them, but they had built up a computer business with sales in the millions. Their company employed over two hundred people, and the two executives lived like princes. Almost overnight, things changed. Sales dropped sharply, former customers disappeared, the business failed, and personal debts […] More

  • Don’t worry…

    Having been married ten years and still living in an apartment, the wife would often complain about anything, as she was tired of saving every penny to buy a “dream home”. Trying to placate her, the husband found a new apartment, within their budget. However, after the first week, she began complaining again. “Joe,” she […] More

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