Miscellaneous Jokes

An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and haircut, but he tells the barber he probably can’t get all of his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek […] More

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant. “I was in that new restaurant across the street,” said one. “It’s so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere–it’s so sanitary that the whole place shines.” Cockroach […] More

The businesswoman, in town for an important meeting, checked into her room at the swank hotel and unpacked her bags. Noticing that her best suit had been badly wrinkled during her flight, she telephoned the desk and asked the hotel’s valet service to pick it up for pressing. Almost immediately after she hung up the […] More

This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his backyard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, “Look, I have a lot of models, but why don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. […] More

A youngster rushed into a barber’s shop and asked to be given a haircut and a shave immediately. “You wait your turn young man,” said the barber, “I will get to you after the others waiting before you have been attended to. It will take an hour or two.” The young fellow ran out of […] More

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. […] More

It was a black man…..a hungry, thirsty bum. He was looking for food in a garbage can, when suddenly he finds a can of Pepsi. He opens the can and a magic genie comes out. “You get three wishes, be very careful and don’t spoil them.” “OK, OK,” and without hesitation he says, “first I […] More

A yuppie was opening the door of his BMW when a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie complained bitterly about the damage to his car. “Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beemer!” “You yuppies are so materialistic, it’s ridiculous” retorted […] More

A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, “Number twelve!” The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, “Number four!” Again, the […] More

Tom, Dick and Harry went to a party. After the party they returned to the hotel. The hotel was 600 stories high. Unfortunately for them, the elevator was not working. They made a plan for the first 200 stories, Tom will crack jokes. The second 200 stories Dick will tell a happy story and lastly […] More

A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93. When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren […] More