Miscellaneous Jokes

A college student challenged a senior citizen, saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his. “You grew up in a different world,” the student said. “Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, nuclear energy, computers…” Taking advantage of a pause in the student’s litany, the geezer said, “You’re right. We didn’t have […] More

An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends and took along a few pictures to show the hostess. She looked at the photos and commented, “These are very good! You must have a good camera.” He didn’t make any comment, but, as he was leaving to go home he said, “That was a really […] More

Two liars were walking down the road, when one turned to the other and said, “See that cliff there? I jumped off it last night.” And the other replied, “I know… I saw you.” More

Three businessmen were having dinner at a club. When it came time to pay the check, each grabbed for it. “It’s a business expense,” said one. “I’ll pay,” said the second. “I’m on cost plus.” “Let me have it,” argued the third. “I’m filing for bankruptcy next week.” More

Mike came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, “Hurry over here. My house is on fire!” “OK,” replied the fireman, “how do we get there?” “Why, don’t you still have those big red fire engines?” More

A drunk staggered up to the hotel reception desk and demanded his room be changed. “But sir,” said the clerk, “you have the best room in the hotel.” “I insist on another room!!” said the drunk. “Very good, sir. I’ll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind telling me why you don’t like […] More

Two men met each other on the beach at Majorca. One looked at the other and asked, “Are you brown from the sun?” “No,” replied the other, “I’m Smith from The Times.” More

“How much for that oil painting?” asked a dealer. “Two hundred and fifty dollars,” replied the artist. Dealer replies, “I will give you twenty.” Artist snapped back, “I should have to be starving to take that!” “Ok then, I will wait,” said the dealer. More

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn’t like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, “What are you waiting for?” The husband replies, “Autumn.” More

A new receptionist started work in a psychiatrist’s office, but at the end of her first day he felt he had to have a quietword with her. “Your general approach is fine,” he said, “but try saying ‘We’re very busy’ rather than ‘It’s a madhouse.’” More