Miscellaneous Jokes

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  • Walking Economy

    A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, “I’m a walking economy.” His friend replies, “How’s that?” “It’s like this, my hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression.” More

  • Last requests

    A guy’s on the electric chair. The warden’s just about to pull the switch when the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, “Do you have any last requests?” The guy says, “(hic) Yeah… (hic) could you please do (hic)… could you please do something to scare me?” More

  • Three hundred years old

    There is a guy who arrives to a town in western Spain, he seems like a charlatan and begins to advertise a potion, which supposedly keeps him young despite the fact that he is three hundred years old. A farmer, having doubts, approaches one of his assistants. “Hey, is it really true that this guy […] More

  • Worry about warnings

    A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!” To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings, we only worry about […] More

  • Kiss

    At a dinner party, the speaker who was the guest of honor was about to deliver his speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word “KISS” scribbled on it. A guest seated next to the speaker said, “Your wife has sent you […] More

  • Foreman

    One day, Uncle Joe got fired from his construction job. His nephew asked him what happened. “You know what a foreman is?” he asked. “The one who stands around and watches the other men work?” “What’s that got to do with it?” he asked. “Well, he just got jealous of me,” Uncle Joe explained. “Everyone […] More

  • How much

    When a fellow called a motel and asked how much they charged for a room, the clerk told him that the rates depended on room size and number of people. “Do you take children?” the man asked. “No, sir,” replied the clerk. “Only cash and credit cards.” More

  • Two Shepherds

    Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, “So, how’s it going?” The second one sighed and shook his head, “Not good, I can’t pay my bills, my health isn’t good, my kids don’t respect me, and my wife is leaving me.” The first […] More

  • How did you..

    John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain. […] More

  • Wish more

    A man was on a beach when he discovered an old lamp in the sand. He rubbed it and a genie popped out. The genie said, “I will grant you three wishes. The only condition is that you cannot wish for more wishes.” “Alright,” said the man, “I wish for more genies.” More

  • How could possibly reward

    A blind man was walking down the street with his dog. They stopped at the corner to wait for the passing traffic. The dog, at this point, started pissing on the man’s leg. As the dog finished the man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a doggie treat and started waving it at […] More

  • Deep without equipment

    One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever. The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, a minute later, […] More

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