Office Jokes

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  • Beware Kind Manager

    A wealthy manager was driving in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?” “We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “We […] More

  • Punctuality

    A company owner was asked a question, “How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?” He smiled & replied, “It’s simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking.” More

  • Want a day off work?

    So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away […] More

  • CEO Error

    A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall and idly picking his teeth. The room was full of workers and he wanted to […] More

  • Interview With The Candidate

    During an Interview the Employer asked the Candidate Employer : ‘How long did u work during your last job? Candidate : 30 years. Employer : What’s your age? Candidate : 20 years. The Employer was surprised and asked the candidate that how it is possible that you are 20 and have a experience of 30 […] More

  • Off To Work

    A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, ‘You should’ve been here at 8.30!’ He replies. ‘Why? What happened at 8.30?’ More

  • Good-natured boss

    Finally, the good-natured boss was compelled to call Smith into his office. “It has not escaped my attention,” he pointed out, “that every time there’s a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor.” “You know you’re right, sir,” exclaimed Smith, “I didn’t realize it. You don’t suppose she’s […] More

  • Partial disability

    A man was being interviewed for a job. “Were you in the service?” the interviewer asks. “Yes, I was a Marine,” responds the applicant. “Did you see any active duty?” “I was in Vietnam for two years and I have a partial disability.” “May I ask what happened?” “Well, I had a grenade go off […] More

  • Feels good

    A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife: “Honey, I got a new secretary. And imagine what happened! She’s got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it’s not a big deal but it feels good.” The next day […] More

  • The boss ordered one of his me…

    The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet deep. After the job was completed the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn’t be needed. “Fill ‘er up,” he ordered. The worker did as he’d been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn’t […] More

  • Tipsy secretary

    One evening, a man gave his tipsy secretary a ride home after an office party. His wife was prone to jealousy, so he didn’t mention the incident to her. Later in the evening, he was driving his wife to a restaurant when he noticed a stiletto-heeled shoe half-hidden under the passenger seat. Gripped with terror, […] More

  • Both of your hands

    A man walks pass a beggar on the corner of the street where he works. The beggar holds out his one hand and the man drops a coin into his hand. One day the man walks pass the beggar again and notices the beggar is holding hold out both his hands. He asks, “Why are […] More

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