Hot Jokes

A man without medicare or medical insurance injured himself playing tennis and couldn’t afford to go to the doctor. A friend of his told him there was a wonderful new diagnostic machine at the drugstore and suggested he try it out. So the man went down to the drugstore and poured the required urine sample […] More

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. “Quick,” said the woman to her lover, “into the closet!”, and she pushed him into the closet stark naked. The husband, however, became suspicious and after […] More

At the movie theater, a young man returning to his seat taps the arm of a woman in the last seat in the row. “Excuse me,” he says, “but did I step on your toe on the way out?” “As a matter of fact, you did,” says the woman, expecting an apology. “Oh good,” says […] More

Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they died. Woman #1: I froze to death. Woman #2: How horrible! Woman #1: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about […] More

The owner of a drugstore walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall with an odd look on his face. The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?” The clerk says, “Well, he came in here at 7 A.M. to get something for his cough. I […] More

Can any one say the difference between complete and finished? No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between ‘Complete’ and ‘Finished.’ However, in a linguistic conference, held in London England, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clever winner. His final challenge was this. Some say there is no difference between ‘Complete’ and […] More

Two students were arguing when their teacher entered the classroom. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?” One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.” “You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know […] More

A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.” He […] More

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said: “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.” Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the […] More