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  • Almost every night

    A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day, he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, “So, tell me, how was it?” “Oh, it was beautiful,” says the man. “The […] More

  • Not The Smartest Sports Fan

    After football fans in one particular city were treated to a particularly excruciating loss earlier in the season, a man phoned a sports-radio talk-show host to say, “Everyone should call in and give one word for that game.” “What’s your word?” the host replied. “Bored out of my mind,” said the caller. More

  • Just the Past

    Wife goes to an astrologer to learn more about her husband. The astrologer asks her, “Do you want to know about your husband’s future?” Without hesitation, the wife responds. “I will decide his future, you just tell me about his past.” More

  • Expensive Lessons

    A father was buying bass lessons for his son. After the 1st week, the father asked him what he had learned. The son said, “On my 1st lesson we learned about the E string.” The 2nd week came and after the lesson, the father asked what had he learned that week. The son said, “On […] More

  • Just One Among Us

    A public speaker could not believe his eyes when he saw just one man among the audience. Nevertheless, he decided to go ahead with his speech. He asked him the reason for coming attending his speech. The man replied, “It’s a hot day out there. The air conditioning is pretty good in here.” More

  • Carpet Installation and… replacement

    A man was carpeting his living room, and once finished, he couldn’t find his pack of cigarettes. Then he saw the lump in the middle of the carpet. He decided he didn’t want to pull up the new carpet for one pack of smokes, so he took his hammer and pounded the lump flat. His […] More

  • Scavenger hunt

    A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list. “Ma’am,” he explained, “I’m on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar.” “Wow,” the woman replied. “Who sent you on such […] More

  • Small head

    An old man with a cue ball sized head is sitting at the bar. “Excuse me,” says the guy next to him. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I noticed you have an extremely small head. Is that a birth defect?” The old man says, “No my ship was torpedoed by the Germans in […] More

  • Pay with a smile!

    “I hate paying my income tax.” “You should be a good citizen – why don’t you pay with a smile?” “I’d like to but they insist on money!” More

  • Best balls

    Eddie came to work Monday and his co-workers asked him how his weekend was. He said he played a little golf. So his co-worker asked him how well he did. “I hit two of my best balls,” he said. “Tell me about it,” said his co-worker. “I stepped on a rake.” More

  • Faith healer

    Two women were sitting in the doctor’s waiting room comparing notes on their various disorders. “I want a baby more than anything in the world,” said the first, “But I guess it is impossible.” “I used to feel just the same way,” said the second. “But then everything changed. That’s why I’m here. I’m going […] More

  • The New SUV

    Two old friends were chatting. One said to the other, “My 85th birthday was yesterday. The wife gave me an SUV.” Other guy responded, “Wow, that’s amazing! Imagine that, an SUV… what a great gift!” “Yup! Socks, Underwear, AND Viagra!” More

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