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  • Little Johnny…Mortgage

    Little Johnny asks his father for a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny’s father says, “We have an $80,000 mortgage on the house, and I just got laid off! There won’t be a $200 bike this year.” Two days later, Little Johnny walks out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. His […] More

  • Five facts about you

    Five facts about you you you you you you you you you you you you you!!! 1. You’re so lazy You didn’t read all the You’s. 2. You didn’t notice I put a Yoo. 3. You are now looking to find out. 4. You are laughing because you realize there is no ‘Yoo’ and you’ve […] More

  • Smart student

    One day when the teacher walked into the classroom, she noticed that someone had written the word ‘P E N I S’ (in tiny letters) on the blackboard. She scanned the class looking for a guilty face. Finding none, she rubbed the word off and began class. The next day, the word ‘P E N […] More

  • How old do you think I am?

    A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home she stops at a newsstand to buy a paper. Before leaving, she asks the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?” […] More

  • Well, I tried..

    There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. He went to the doctor to get a sperm count. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back. The elderly man came back the next day; the specimen cup was empty and the lid […] More

  • The voice

    I was in the public toilets and had just sat down, a voice from the next cubicle said “Hi!, how are you?” Embarrassed, I said, “I’m doing fine”. The voice said “So what are you up to?”. I said, “Just doing the same as you, sitting here!”. From next door, “Can I come over?”. Annoyed, […] More

  • Sign from God

    A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s […] More

  • Lying Neighbour!

    In Court the Judge says to a double-homicide defendant. “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.” A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “You bastard!” The judge says, “You’re also charged with beating your Mother-in-law to death with a hammer.” The voice in the back of the courtroom […] More

  • Baby Feeding!

    A man is sitting next to a woman who’s trying to breast-feed her baby in a bus. The baby refuses to suck the breast & the mother warns, “If you don’t suck, I shall give it to the uncle next to me.” The baby still refuses. After about 20 minutes, the woman repeats the threat. […] More

  • Free Christmas Tree!

    My son asked me if we could have a tree this Christmas. I told him I didn’t want to pay for a tree and that’s that. He wouldn’t stop asking though, every five minutes he wanted to know why we couldn’t have a tree. In the end I grabbed my axe and stormed out of […] More

  • Florida orange growers

    Q: Why did Florida orange growers offer O.J. Simpson $3 million? A: To change his name to Apple Juice. More

  • Problem on the Farm!

    A young farmhand is driving around the farm and making repairs to the fences. After a few minutes, he makes a call to his boss on the two-way radio and says, “Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of the truck. He’s still wriggling. […] More

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