Party Pubbing Jokes

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  • A Night Out!

    An Irishman’s been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober […] More

  • Six Feet

    Marge was in bed with a man (not her husband). All of a sudden, they heard a noise downstairs. “Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?” “Just stay in bed with me. He’s probably so drunk, he ain’t gonna notice you here with me.” The fear of getting caught […] More

  • Shots

    A guy walks into a bar and orders a shot of whisky. He gulps it down and peeks into his shirt pocket. He orders another shot of whisky, gulps it down and peeks into his short pocket. He orders a third shot and does the same thing. After the sixth shot, he asks the bartender […] More

  • Rude jerk

    This guy walked into a lounge, and this was one of those type of guys that’s bold and rude and will say about anything to a woman, you know the type, and he noticed this attractive lady siting by her self. The guy walks over and sits down beside her and says: “You know baby, […] More

  • The Story Of A Very Short Man

    A man walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots.” Bartender says, “You want them both now or one at a time?” The guy says,” Oh, I want them both now. One’s for me and one’s for this little guy here,” and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his […] More

  • The Old Drunk

    A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, “Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?” The drunk looks back and says, “Yess, Preasher… I ssssure […] More

  • Complimentary!

    A guy goes into the bar and sits down and orders a drink. Other than the bartender, there’s no one else in the place. All of a sudden he hears a voice say, ‘Nice suit.’ He looks around and doesn’t see anyone and the bartender looks busy washing some glasses. A little while later the […] More

  • Not Guilty!

    A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorced his wife, lost his children and lost his job… He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it. He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the […] More

  • Drunk Superman

    On the top of a tall building in a large city, there was a bar. In this bar, a man was drinking heavily. He would ask the bartender for a tequila shot, then walk out to the balcony and jump off. Minutes later he would appear in the elevator and repeat the whole process. This […] More

  • Drunk Biker!

    A policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the front. He goes round the back of the pub only to find two bikies, one with his fingers up the bum of the other. “So what’s going on here?” he asks. The bikie replies, “My mate here has […] More

  • Upstairs

    A man walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a pasty. “How much will that be?” he asks. “Nothing, Sir, it’s on the house.” A little later, he orders another beer and again is told it’s on the house. After a third pint, he questions the barman. “Why are all the drinks […] More

  • I really tricked you

    A simple young man got very drunk one day and was caught short on the way home so he relieved himself in the local river. At that moment a policeman came along and shouted to him. “Stop that immediately, put it away and go home, you drunken sod.” The man stuck his d*ck back inside […] More

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