Technology Jokes

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  • Technology HURTS…

    A wife was calling out for her husband from the kitchen to help her with the dishes, but did not get a response. She went looking for him in the bed room and found hubby asleep on his files, tired of work. She walked closer to him, looked at the innocent face, played with his […] More

  • Give Her What She Wants

    Wife asks her husband to pass her a newspaper. He replies, “Newspaper? Are yo really that behind reality? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper? Here, take my iPad instead.” The wife takes the iPad and uses it to kill a cockroach. Her husband faints. More

  • Super Computer

    The Super Computer stood at the end of the Computer Company’s production line. At which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo. “This”, he said, “is the Super Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it”. At which a […] More

  • Technical fault

    A priest, a drunkard, and an engineer were all being led to the guillotine to be executed. They ask the priest if he wants to face upward or downward when he meets his fate. The priest says that he would like to die face up, so that he will be looking toward heaven when he […] More

  • Knowing the Territory

    It was my friend’s first camping trip with her husband, and they were lost. He tried all the usual tactics to determine direction—moss on the trees (there was none), direction of the sun (it was overcast), and so on. Just as she began to panic, he spotted a cabin in the distance. “This way,” he […] More

  • It’s My Computer

    Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.” Tech Support: “All right. What operating system are you running?” Customer: “Netscape.” Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?” Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?” Tech Support: “No, right click on ‘My Computer’ and select properties on the menu.” Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!” More

  • Actual radio conversation!

    This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: […] More

  • Consulting the Experts

    The computer in my high school classroom was acting up. After watching me struggle with it, a student explained that my hard drive had crashed. So I called IT. “Can someone look at my computer?” I asked. “The hard drive crashed.” “We can’t just send people down on your say-so,” said the specialist. “How do […] More

  • Kindly propose !

    Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he […] More

  • IT Students

    An IT student is walking along with his bike when another IT student walks up to him and goes “Nice bike. Where did you get it?” The first student says, “The other day, this beautiful woman ran up to me with this bike, threw it on the ground, ripped off all her clothes and said […] More

  • Cell Phone Etiquette

    After a very busy day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Montreal for Hudson. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice… “Hi sweetheart it’s Eric, I’m on […] More

  • Technology

    Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. “That’s my pager,” he says. “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.” A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man […] More

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