Last night

This guy says to his buddy, “You’ll never believe what happened last night.”
His buddy says, “Well then, tell me what happened.”
The guy says, “Last night the doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, there was my ex-mother-in-law on the front porch.”
She said, “Can I stay here for a few days?”
I said, “Of course, you can,” and shut the door.

An apple a day

Work telephones