Jokes of the day - Part 112

Christmas Eve

Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family’s Christmas […] More

Ex-Husband

This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks, “I notice you’ve been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?” “Yes” she replies, “He’s my ex-husband, and has been drinking like […] More

Threat or promise

A woman walks up to an obnoxious drunk at a bar and tells him, “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink.” The man replies, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.” More

That’s Strange

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.” The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: […] More

Witness Testimony

A lawyer was questioning the testimony of a witness to a shooting. “Did you see the shot fired?” “No, sir, I only heard it.” “Stand down” said the judge sharply. “Your testimony is of no value.” The witness turned around in the box to leave, and when his back was turned to the judge he […] More

Bank on it

A man and a woman meet in an elevator. “Where are you heading today?” the man asks. “I’m going down to give blood.” “How much do you get paid for giving blood?” “About $20.” “Wow,” says the man, “I’m going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100.” The woman angrily gets off […] More

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