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  • Beautiful…

    There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later […] More

  • Home Insecurity

    As I stepped out of the shower, I heard someone in my kitchen downstairs. Knowing that my wife was out, I grabbed my 1903 heirloom rifle—which no longer works—and crept downstairs, forgetting the fact that I was in my birthday suit. I came around the corner with the gun raised, only to find my wife […] More

  • You gotta love…

    After working most of her life Grandma finally retired. At her nextcheckup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicinesthat had been prescribed for her. As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as herealized she had a prescription for birth control pills. “Mrs. Smith, doyou […] More

  • Speeding Ticket!

    A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine. Officer: You were speeding. Man: No, I wasn’t. Officer: Yes, you were. I’m giving you a ticket. Man: But I wasn’t speeding. Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.) Man: Would I […] More

  • Embarrassing Moment

    An American girl was visiting England and was invited to a party. While dancing with a stuffy monocled Englishman, her necklace became unfastened and slipped down the back of her dress. She asked the Englishman to retrieve the jewelry piece for her. He was very embarrassed but wishing to comply with her request he reached […] More

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