Jokes of the day - Part 188

$200 fine

A pick pocket was pronounced guilty and sentenced to pay a $200 fine by the judge. His defense lawyer, knowing that his client could not pay the fine, pleaded with the judge asking, “Your honor, my client can only afford $50. But if you allow him a few minutes in the crowd…” More

Communicative type

Paul picked this woman up in a nightclub and took her home. While they were walking home he didn’t say a thing. “You’re not the communicative type, are you?” she said as they were undressing. “Nah,” Paul replied and pulled out his old fella. “I do all my talking with this.” “Damn,” said the girl […] More

Runaway

A Blonde woman was standing near a train platform in New York with a pair of handcuffs and some rope. A gentleman being curious asked the blonde what the handcuffs and rope were for. The blonde responded by saying, “The news reported a runaway train heading to New York and I want the reward for […] More

Army Girl

“Daddy,” said my 10-year-old daughter, “I think I want to join the Army.” “Baby,” I answered, “I think the Air Force would be a better option for you.” “But I don’t want to be a pilot.” “You don’t have to be a pilot,” I told her. “There are other jobs in the Air Force.” Her […] More

Father and son

A father and his son, Bobby, arrive at the game, and Dad can’t find the tickets. Dad: “Nip home and see if I left the tickets there.” Bobby: “No probs, Dad.” Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium. Bobby: “Yep, they’re on the kitchen table where […] More

Go to the dentist

Arthur: I like to go to the dentist. Marion: You really like to see the dentist? Arthur: Yes. My teacher, my mother, my big sister–they all tell me to shut up. The dentist is the only person who tells me to open my mouth! More

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