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  • I tried that

    Back a few years ago, I went over to my neighbors house.(She was a blonde), and for some reason she was mad at the world. She had locked herself in the bathroom and was threatening suicide.I said, “Come on, you know you don’t want to do this!” She said, “I damn well do wanna do […] More

  • Turn off

    We went to see a movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. “Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, […] More

  • First Date

    A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: “Why don’t you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?” He thought this was a great strategy, […] More

  • alcohol warnings

    The Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage. 1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a […] More

  • Arriving in Heaven!

    A man is standing outside the gates of Heaven. Saint Peter approaches and says, “Can I help you?” The man replies, “No thanks.” He continues to stand on the clouds. “Are you sure I can’t help you?” says Saint Peter. “No. That’s fine,” says the man. Several minutes pass before Saint Peter approaches the man […] More

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