Jokes of the day

Don’t move until..

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. “Hurry!” she said, “stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.” “What’s […] More

Brown eyes cheat

A man was talking to his friend at the bar. The friend said, “Did you know that 9 out of 10 women with brown eyes cheat on their husbands?” “No, I didn’t know that,” The man replied. “So what color are your wife’s eyes?” asked the friend. The man replied, “I’m too drunk to remember. […] More

Following orders

Doctor: I see you’re over a month late for your appointment. Don’t you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What’s your excuse? Patient: I was just following your orders, Doc. Doctor: Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order. Patient: You told me to avoid people […] More

Sergeants

Two boys from the mountains, Leroy and Jasper have been promoted from privates to sergeants. Not long after, they’re out for a walk and Leroys says, “Hey, Jasper, there’s the NCO Club. Let’s you and me stop in.” “But we’s privates,” protests Jasper. “We’s sergeants now,” says Leroy, pulling him inside. “Now, Jasper, I’m a-gonna […] More

But poor Mom..

When the Jones family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked five-year-old Sammy how he liked the new place. “It’s terrific,” he said. “I have my own room, Mike has his own room, and Jamie has her own room… But poor Mom is still in with Dad.” More

I thought..

A policeman was checking up about a robbery in a home. The policeman asked the lady of the house, “This is the messiest room I ever saw. You should have reported the robbery right away.” The woman said, “I didn’t know it was a robbery. I thought my husband had been looking for a clean […] More

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