Jokes of the day

With on one hand

“How are you doing?” said a young guy bumping into his friend at the bar. “I was fine…until last night.” “Why? What happened?” “My girlfriend and I were talking about how many people we had slept with.” “Oh, what did she say?” “She said she could count the number of guys she’s slept with on […] More

Only Time I Use My Head

An elderly lady and an orthopedic surgeon were travelling in an elevator together. The doors started to shut as the lady was trying to get out of the doors. The surgeon kindly put his head in between the doors so the lady could get out. “Thank you very much,” said the lady, “but why did […] More

Once Upon A Time

A young girl asked her father if all fairy tales begin with “Once Upon A Time?” “No,” he replied. “A whole lot of them begin with ‘If elected, I promise …’” More

What do you have?

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, “Dang, why are you drinking so fast?” The guy says, “You would be drinking fast if you had what I had.” The bartender says, “What do you have?” The guy says, “75 cents.” More

Last requests

A guy’s on the electric chair. The warden’s just about to pull the switch when the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, “Do you have any last requests?” The guy says, “(hic) Yeah… (hic) could you please do (hic)… could you please do something to scare me?” More

Littleman

Patient: Doctor, I have a little man in my head, and he’s cursing all the time! Doctor: Well, this problem is really easy to fix! It will cost you $1000. Patient: Doctor, do you know what the little guy just said? More

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